SPWC

Here's a "poem" if you will I wrote last year.

Let Me Out
Anger
Misery
Love
Hate
Lust
Confusion
Contempt
Lies
Downward Spiral

Just when I feel like things in my life are going really really well. I crash. Something happens that brings down all of my hope and happiness. I'm told that I'm lazy. Damn kid. I'm told that I never help around the house. Lazy ass. I'm told I spend too much time with my friends. Where are they? I'm told that I'm a jerk. Thanks mom. I'm told I'm stupid. Look who's paying for college.

I hit the peak of my happiness when someone recognizes this and does nothing but bring me down. Belittle me. Call me arogant. A martyr. A lazy ass. I'm never home to help around the house. Sorry I work and go to school full-time. I spend too much time with my friends. I have few anymore. I go out once a week, maybe twice. But that's too much. There was never time to be a kid. Always working running around. Chores, punishments, school, work. Fun? I'm a jerk. Funny how most people seem to like me and you do too except when I'm happy because that pisses you off. I'm stupid. Is that the best you have? Why? Because you don't like what I have to say? What brings this on? Every time I really start to enjoy myself I get a reality check and things go back to how they were. I never help around the house. Where's you favorite son. The young one. Oh yea in the basement playing x-box or watching t.v. but this one. The oldest son and middle child will pick up around the house and take care of things. But he's lazy.

I was never athletic. You made me wrestle and "play" football in middle school. You attempted this when i reached high school. I begged and pleaded and somehow was able to avoid it. Is this my punishment. The youngest a football player and track athlete is awarded everything. He fails a class yet takes it over to get an A and HE is rewarded? I pay for things myself yet you want me to pay more? I need money to survive and yet you expect me to be home to wait on you hand and foot.

I go back to this life now. Never changing. Always spiraling. First up than straight down. I've heard it all. Things will get better. It could be worse. Please. I don't want to hear that. I'm sick of this. Of everything. I met a girl. But things will never work. That was not what this was about so give me any relationship crap either. She's awesome even if we're just friends. No. This is about family. The biological type not the spiritual. I don't reside at home. but rather a house.
Empty
Cold
Lonely
Dark
Walls
Bars
Corner
Depressed

^I agree,great

Another Piece...

Someone Else

Stuck in a rut
Never to get out
unsure future
Parents unconcerned
outcome dreary
mistakes made over
again and again
never learning
restlessness
hiding behind a mask
someone else
lack of caring
life
mine

Random Quote of the day..
"Moths are just poor butterflies. They simply can't afford to be pretty."
~Me

Random Thought
So I've been thinking lately and have come to the conclusion that today's society is what holds people back from exerting their true-selves. People are either expected to live up to too many expectations or are told that they are worthless. If you are expected to live up to too many expectations, you never have fun and end up wanting to do the opposite thing just to rebel. If you are told that you are worthless you never excel. Either way, you are giving in to those expectations that are put on your shoulders by today's society. You know what the scary thing about today's society is? All of these action movies that have to do with drug lords and psycho paths, etc. are based on something. Some are true events. When it becomes more common place for people to carry/own a gun than a bible, the world gets a little scary. Just a thought

Self portrait from drawing 101

I love this picture. And it was taken with a very cheap digital camera.

I don't know why but this simple photo of a parking lot is one of my all time favorite pictures.

Practice drawing texture. A sheet draped over a dress-making mannequin.

I love the pictures Tony. Simple, yet I couldn't help but look at them for a while.